Nerves

I'm going to my first actual meeting tomorrow. I'm so nervous! I guess I'm afraid of failing. I have so much hope, but that terrifies me. Being thin is something that I want so much- I'm afraid to want it that badly because the thought of never getting there is unbearable. Its almost easier to just NOT try and then accept life as is then try and admit that I can't do it, you know? There's some comfort in knowing that I'm obese because I haven't really tried to lose it. What if I DO try, but still can't do it? Lame.

K and I are cooking dinner tomorrow. We're making broccoli/cheese stuffed chicken with mashed cauliflower and backed macaroni & cheese. Exciting! WW has TONS of really awesome recipes that look absolutely delicious. For the first time ever, I'm actually excited about cooking! It starting to feel like cooking "healthy" won't be such a hassle afterall. Yay!